I know sex sells, however...

As most of you know, my early international days were spent in the area of HIV and AIDS. On my third day in Africa (ever) I was pulled into a room full of sex workers and asked questions about prostitution in Canada. I knew as little about it then as I do now, and that was just the beginning. A few weeks later, I fumbled through a rudimentary explanation of how a sex change operation works and the ensuing issue of sex vs. gender in such an instance, to a room full of educators and government officials. Had I ever really thought about these things before? Not really. But luckily I think quick on my feet.

I got really comfortable, really quickly, talking about stuff that I had never before been comfortable talking about. Discussing penis' and vagina's was all in a day's work and I learned the words in the local language, which oddly always seem to be considered rude when said in local dialect but is also always a crowd pleaser. Standing in front of a room full of people with a wooden penis in one hand and a condom in the other, demonstrating how to put it on was all par for the course, and if anyone half jokingly asked if I would be up for using one later, well, that was even better cause they had heard when I tried to impart that not only should they always be using condoms, but that women shouldn't have to insist on safer sex; men should take the lead. In some industries that would be called sexual harassment, but it's what we in this industry call 'having an impact'.

Later, I would be one of the only women in a club who wasn't there to earn a living, and would usually also be the only one with condoms in her purse, and would pass them out to the other ladies in the bathroom. I make friends easily.

The point is, I've become accustomed to talking about some of the stuff that makes other people a bit jittery, and have developed a keen interest in noticing when condoms are available, how they are presented, etc. Just the other day, I was bowled over with delight in one of the few nice shops in town, when not only did it have a wide variety of international brand condoms in various textures and flavours, but also a discreet single row that came with a bonus gift: a vibrating cock ring. That lights up. You heard me. It's basically like a Happy Meal for adults.

Juba - I'm impressed.

I find condom marketing really interesting. The main brand that we have in all our offices are called Trust. In Zim, there was a brand called Mr. Right. They almost always have photos of happy couples in love on the front. I get that they're trying to appeal to people in relationships and change the belief that condoms are only for prostitutes. (Because everybody knows that only married people and prostitutes are getting laid... and usually a combination thereof. Right? Duh.) But if sex sells, why has the condom industry completely overlooked the sexy factor in their condom marketing? 

So imagine my delight when I walked into the office not so long ago and saw a package sitting on the shelf just outside the bathroom door that caught my eye: Climax! Bright colours! Exotic! Berry flavour! Sounds fun. I was excited. Sign me up! 

I picked up the box, that is the expected size and shape of a pack of condoms, to relocate it to beside the boring Trust condoms (with the silhouette of a lovely looking couple on the box) that are usually in the bathroom, and then my heart sunk. I looked closer: Climax is air freshener. Whaaa?

I returned later to take the photo, and then one additional time to check if I'd missed anything, which I had- on the back, the directions read: remove from wrapper and place in box. How perfect.

So now my question is: how can we get this air freshener company to start selling condoms instead? 

Also, I wonder how many people have picked up this handy packet on their way through the checkout counter - as excited as I was - only to get home and realize that the "look" the cashier gave them as their purchase was rung through was purely a product of their self conscious imagination and also ended up with a much different evening than they intended?

Finally, if you ever meet the person who is behind this particular marketing strategy, please give them my number cause I'd like to buy them a beer. I feel like we should be friends.