When I come up with something better, we're going to pretend that this isn't the first post of 2012. Deal?

I’ve been back in country for 13 days now, and since we are pretending this is the first post I’ve shared since we rang in the New Year, know that I’ve been holding off until something really interesting happens.

I’m not sure how long we’re gonna have to wait.

(It would have been really dramatic to end the post there, but I’m way too chatty for that)

In the interim, I’ve resisted the urge to write about the stuff that has come up that I wanted to tell you about, namely:

•  toilets (which I'm trying to avoid because it can’t be a good sign if the first thing you have to say publicly to embrace a new year is about crappers) and
• cats (which I don’t really need to explain, do I?)

I could go on a proper rant about life in the field and how I might need to start wearing a helmet around, as I may resort to banging my head against a wall rather than trying to understand some of the people around me. (My brother is the pretty one in the family, I need to protect my grey matter.) But I’m only five nights in to a 17 day trip, and assure you the rant will be much more entertaining around about day 15 when I’m hot, exhausted, dirty, at wits end and probably suffering from a prolonged bout of diarrhoea. I’ll also be pretty hungry ‘cause all the snacks I brought up will have run out and I’ll be existing on very little. Turns out I like rice and beans even less in 2012 than I did in 2011, which is a really inconvenient truth.

But before I sign off and go in search of something not related to crap or cats to tell you about[1], I can’t end without a shout out to Auntie E. She went to see a man about a horse and the horse roughed her up. Properly.

I’ve got one word for you: mortadella.

(I know a guy who knows a guy. I could make some calls. Lemme know)

Know that I was going to send you flowers. Mainly because my mom instructed me not to. But the internet wasn’t working well enough to place the order. Which was a shame really, as I had already composed the card. It was to read: Your sister doesn’t want you to have these. But now they're yours. Doesn't that make you feel SO much better?

I’ll have to come up with other ways to piss her off in my absence. I’m open to suggestions.

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[1] I can pretty much guarantee that I’ll break down and tell you about both very soon. There’s just something symbolic about starting a new year, afresh. Is ‘afresh’ even a word? If it’s not, I vote it should be. It’s a new year, anything is possible.